♥ Tuesday, August 29, 2006
i'm feeling kinda low right now! argh! thinking of wad i;ve done for the patients, moi care towards moi patients, the procedures i've done, blah blah blah.. seriously, if i were to rate moiself upon 10, for the 'great' things i've done today, i'll rate moiself arnd 5, or even lesser.. i didnt give moi patients the best care i cud give(something which was written in moi objectives), i didnt inform the staff nurse about things tat i shud inform stat or may be critical to the patient, i didnt take their parameters seriously, i avoided doing some sort of procedures, i'm still timid when speaking to the staff nurses(in a sense tat i dun dare to interrupt them).. haiz.. so many mistakes! so many 'no-nos'! wad's more, all these wrong-doings are not caused by anyone but all by moiself! i wasnt bold enuff to speak up, i dun have the guts to ask them when will we do the dressing, can i do it? i didnt ask if i can help serve the medications, blah blah... and i think the worst is, even for th basic ADL needs for the patients, i cant help them to achieve well!! i still gotta wait for the AN to tell moi who r the ones to do sponging, who are the ones who can shower on their own.. hmmm.. no use saying all these if i didnt want to change or something.. tmr shall be the day i show up tat i m a genuine nursing student! yupz! we shall c then..
argh! shud kill moi!! i'm sad!! juz received a message from Brenda abt there's no training tmr! so many weeks le! omg! but i'm sure they have their reasons for doing so.. yups! stay cheerful bahz! this world is so beautiful, only tat i've yet taken a look arnd.. shud learn from estelle her positive thots.. i'm positive in a way tat i will give moiself confidence of doing a better job, cuz to moi, if u have confidence, u've already run half of the race.. n i feel tat it's quite true! yupz... but there're oso times tat i lose confidence.. i used to think positively.. i used to be a much happy girl.. i was moiself in the past.. but i dun think i carry these characteristics now! the person i m now.. i dun think it's moi true self! i'm having much much thots abt moiself, moi way towards life, moi thinkings, moi future career in nursing, the future job tat i may be holding, blah blah.. so many things going thru moi small tiny but useful mind..
i'm having so many conflicts wif moi frenz.. to be exact, moi grp 19 poly frenz.. argh! they're making a pit out of a small tiny weeny hole.. wa kau! hate it.. conflict rises by at least two person.. two ppleare involved in a conflict.. but now, so many pple are involved! hate it lahz.. i've indirectly told sharon abt it, i guessed des knows it le.. let moi be the bad guy den.. i dun mind.. i've written in moi space blog, 'i'm used to it le'.. so for now, nothing matters at all.. now i shall carry on with moi life.. a happy life.. a life tat it used to be.. yupz! jia you!!
Blogged @ 10:10 PM