♥ Tuesday, August 29, 2006
i'm feeling kinda low right now! argh! thinking of wad i;ve done for the patients, moi care towards moi patients, the procedures i've done, blah blah blah.. seriously, if i were to rate moiself upon 10, for the 'great' things i've done today, i'll rate moiself arnd 5, or even lesser.. i didnt give moi patients the best care i cud give(something which was written in moi objectives), i didnt inform the staff nurse about things tat i shud inform stat or may be critical to the patient, i didnt take their parameters seriously, i avoided doing some sort of procedures, i'm still timid when speaking to the staff nurses(in a sense tat i dun dare to interrupt them).. haiz.. so many mistakes! so many 'no-nos'! wad's more, all these wrong-doings are not caused by anyone but all by moiself! i wasnt bold enuff to speak up, i dun have the guts to ask them when will we do the dressing, can i do it? i didnt ask if i can help serve the medications, blah blah... and i think the worst is, even for th basic ADL needs for the patients, i cant help them to achieve well!! i still gotta wait for the AN to tell moi who r the ones to do sponging, who are the ones who can shower on their own.. hmmm.. no use saying all these if i didnt want to change or something.. tmr shall be the day i show up tat i m a genuine nursing student! yupz! we shall c then..
argh! shud kill moi!! i'm sad!! juz received a message from Brenda abt there's no training tmr! so many weeks le! omg! but i'm sure they have their reasons for doing so.. yups! stay cheerful bahz! this world is so beautiful, only tat i've yet taken a look arnd.. shud learn from estelle her positive thots.. i'm positive in a way tat i will give moiself confidence of doing a better job, cuz to moi, if u have confidence, u've already run half of the race.. n i feel tat it's quite true! yupz... but there're oso times tat i lose confidence.. i used to think positively.. i used to be a much happy girl.. i was moiself in the past.. but i dun think i carry these characteristics now! the person i m now.. i dun think it's moi true self! i'm having much much thots abt moiself, moi way towards life, moi thinkings, moi future career in nursing, the future job tat i may be holding, blah blah.. so many things going thru moi small tiny but useful mind..
i'm having so many conflicts wif moi frenz.. to be exact, moi grp 19 poly frenz.. argh! they're making a pit out of a small tiny weeny hole.. wa kau! hate it.. conflict rises by at least two person.. two ppleare involved in a conflict.. but now, so many pple are involved! hate it lahz.. i've indirectly told sharon abt it, i guessed des knows it le.. let moi be the bad guy den.. i dun mind.. i've written in moi space blog, 'i'm used to it le'.. so for now, nothing matters at all.. now i shall carry on with moi life.. a happy life.. a life tat it used to be.. yupz! jia you!!
Blogged @ 10:10 PM
♥ Monday, August 28, 2006
today is the day i started moi attachment in ward 54.. quite ok i shud say, cant gurentee abt it yet cuz it's only moi 1st day.. yupz! wat surprised moi was, the nursing educator.. i was attached to tis ward during year 1, so i wasnt tat 'blur', i knew some nurses n the sister there.. but surprisingly, the 'woman' whom i dun like, cuz she's 'straight to the core' was not bad afterall! at 1st, today, i was like "oh shit! u mean she'll be taking us for the 3 weeks in tis ward?!" but after a while, some briefing while in the day-room, i find her kinda ok! gee.. :-)
wow! she has got the patience lor, waited for everyone to sign n write our numbers, she then started orientating us.. not merely orientating k.. n oso 'rationale' of it.. simple things she'll oso go through.. wow! getting to like nursing when she was orientating.. but, it doesnt seem so when i started 'working' for the day.. :-(
cuz of the orientation, it lasted till abt 2 pm.. after our break.. hmmm.. here comes the problem.. within half an hour, we(i n XT) did a few wrong cum stupid things. gee.. typical bahz..
1stly: when u c a patient with a big bandage on the ankle, wud u still ask "do u know how to walk?"~ definitely no mah.. n dear moi, still got the elephant cum sotong cheek to ask tat! argh! n wad's more, the staff nurse in-charge was there! replying moi tat "OBVIOUSLY NOT!" diaoz... cuz the patient was sitting in a way like she's goin to get out of the bed n walk, juz tat need assistance..
2ndly: i dunno, cuz i wasnt there, XT pushed the commode in the wrong direction.. n an AN saw it.. GOSH! the patient may juz fall k...
haiz.. was saying to XT "wonder is it something wrong with our minds or wat" hmmm... maybe is cuz we havent 'get used' to the environment or something.. our minds havent wake up from the deep sleep.. gee.. excuses n excuses!
let's hope tat tmr, i wont be so blur, n i can get to do dressing bahz.. i dun wanna those clean wound k, i wanna with blood or something oozing out those kinds, so tat when i clean the wound, i will be satisfied after it is cleaned! hurhur.. n nurses whom will be in-charge of bed 9-16, we'll work together happily k.. no unhappiness k.. teach moi as much as possible k.. i will do wadever tat i can help n do! yeah!! meadication, dressing, urinary catheter, suctioning, PEG/NGT feeding, i'll be coming after u all for this week k... gee!! *smile*
Blogged @ 5:46 PM
